Right now I'm feeling pretty lonely and not like myself. When I walk through the crowds of kids in the dining hall who know each other I feel like a shadow. Not even that, completely invisible. No one knows who I am, why should one care. I am no longer BOOM! I am now some girl. Not even an exceptional or gorgeous girl. The girls here are so perfect. I'm just alright looking. But,not someone who should be chased down or complimented. I feel numb. Not depressed. I also feel like I just started a game of Sims. I just put my space together. I'm getting to know my environment and I have to impress everyone. I can't walk around the dorm with my hair looking scraggly and dark circles under my eyes. People might think I have a problem. Since when do I care?? Since I have no one here to have my back. I try to tag along but I get left behind. Then I awkwardly exit with a bitter smile on my face.
I ate dinner alone last night. I would have eaten lunch alone if all the tables weren't full. I just hate being that random person.
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Liz, Beth, Boom -- thanks for the bummed out post. I don't know why, but sometimes when you're blue, the most comforting message can only come from someone else's distress. I'm down today and you've picked me up by being down, too.
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